As a parent we ask ourselves millions of questions throughout the day. Did I spend enough time with my kid(s)? Was their meal healthy enough? Am I teaching them valuable lessons? But more often than not, it leads to the question: am I doing the right thing?
Mom guilt (and dad guilt) are very real things and we experience these things probably more often than we would like to admit. Anytime I choose to do something for myself rather than spending time with kids, I feel instant guilt. Choosing an afternoon out with friends rather than staying home with the kids? Guilt. Having someone who isn’t me put the kids to bed? Guilt. Asking for help? Guilt.
Now, I know that some of this seems silly because why would you feel guilty about taking some time to yourself, right? But that’s really where this mom guilt lies. I’m constantly questioning the choices I make because I want to so badly make sure I’m doing right by my kids and my family. Do I feel this way because I don’t think their dad can handle things without me? Absolutely NOT. My husband is about the best dad I could imagine, but it doesn’t take the guilt off my back. I want to make sure that my kids are thriving, and I feel that when I’m not around, how can I be sure they’re doing their best? I feel that I’m not doing my part as their mother by taking time to myself. Writing this out honestly sounds crazy, but I think that’s really part of the struggle with this internal feeling, because saying it and feeling it are two completely different things. Do I know that my kids are going to be okay when I leave the house for a hour or two? Definitely. Does it make me feel any better during that time that I’m gone? Nope.
Here’s really what I have come to terms with lately…I’m not going to have all the answers, and I will make mistakes along the way. I think the most important part about this question is that I’m asking it. By asking this question and really thinking about my choices, I’m really saying that I care about my kids and I am doing my best.
So again I ask, am I doing the right thing? And more often than not, the answer to that question in an unequivocal YES! Taking time to yourself is an important part of being a parent in order to give the most to your kids because how can you possibly fill their cups when yours is empty?
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