Working a full time job is exhausting. Being a mom is exhausting. Putting the two together? Sometimes it seems like an impossible task. I know this isn’t groundbreaking stuff and I’m not the only working mom, but sometimes it can seem like I’m on an island.
This isn’t to say that I don’t have an incredible support system, because I do, but wearing so many hats throughout the day can be lonely. Being in a manager position and having to deal with all the things at work and then jumping right into mom mode when I walk in the door is sometimes overwhelming. Throughout one day it seems I can be a mom, wife, BCBA, manager, therapist, counselor, chef, maid, housekeeper, etc. We all wear different hats throughout the day, but it feels like mom’s just have some added pressure. Chalk it up to mom guilt, but I feel like there’s that expectation that working mom’s need to do more because we’re away from the kids for so much of the day.
What’s even worse, is the guilt that I feel for being away from my kids while at work even though I know I’m providing a necessary means for them to survive. If you don’t work, you’re lazy. But if you do work, you’re neglecting your kids. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
However, by not looking at what society tells us moms what we should or shouldn’t do, I think we can find some inner peace. I don’t know about you, but sometimes going to work is a saving grace. Getting a few hours away from my kids saves me from pulling my hair out some days. Like I said before, being a mom is exhausting! It’s constantly hearing “mommy, can you help me…” and “mama, I want…” and “no, I wanna do it all by myself!” While I LOVE how much my kids love me (and very much love them in return), being needed so much can really run me into the ground.
On the flip side, I also have a very demanding job where I’m usually always needed as well. But I love my job. I love being able to help families, see kids make progress, meet goals, and see my staff grow their skills. It’s an incredibly rewarding (and stressful) job. But being a BCBA I think truly makes me a better mom. When I’m home with my kids after a long day of work, being with them makes all the tough parts worth it. Even on the days when I come home to my toddler just having an accident or my baby screaming bloody murder because she saw food and it needs to be in her mouth now, it’s worth it.
I have learned patience, I have learned self-care, and I have learned growth from being a working mom. It’s the hard days that put things into perspective and make the easier days that much sweeter. Note: I did not say “easy days” because what does that even mean?
I love being a mom and I love (most of the time) working. I’m damn proud to be a working mom, and you should be too.
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