Recently, I have been working a lot on caring for myself and learning to love myself. While these are important things for everyone to practice, it’s something that I’ve been working on much more since becoming a mom. I want to be able to teach my kids about self-care and self-love and leading by example is the best way I can think to accomplish that.
As a parent, 110% of what I do is for the benefit of my family. Sometimes this means that while I’m giving my all and then some to my family, I’m not giving enough to myself (see mom guilt).
Recently, my husband and I read a book together, the ABCs of Self Love by Melody Godfred. You guys, I cannot recommend this book enough. It’s a quick read with a lot of important messages on assuming positivity and being happy with yourself. There are also writing prompts for journaling with each chapter, I really encourage you all to check it out. Okay, book rec over 🙂
Here’s what I really got out of this book and why learning to love yourself is so important. First of all, at parents, we are all leaders. We have these little shadows that want to be just like us. We are the first people they are learning from, shouldn’t we give them a positive example? I don’t know about you, but this shit can be really hard. My husband and I are constantly practicing how to be better versions of ourselves to model for our kids.
We are really working on showing our kids how to love themselves by loving ourselves. We will practice positive affirmations often with our almost 3-year old (“I’m proud of myself,” “I love myself,” “I’m the best me I can be!”) While prompting him to say these things, we are saying them ourselves as well. You guys, after a few days of this you really start to believe it and our son will even say some of these things independently now which is so cool.
Another thing that we’ve been working on during this journey is learning how to take breaks. Not just taking them, but recognizing when we need them and asking for them. This has been particularly hard, but showing our kids that it’s okay to ask for a break has been amazing. My son will sometimes tell me or my husband to take a break, and it’s as adorable as it is thoughtful. Being able to recognize when we are getting overwhelmed, overstimulated, or just plain exhausted is such a huge step in taking care of our mental health. Parents, we have to take care of ourselves if we ever want to successfully take care of someone else.
One part I’m still working on is asking for help when I need it. There are times that I feel like I need to be supermom and do it all (there’s that good ‘ole mom guilt again!), but then I remember that I’m only human. Not only do I have 2 kids, a dog, a husband, and a full time job, but I still have myself to take care of! My husband has been amazing in helping so that I can practice some self-care each day. Sometimes that looks like just taking a shower, putting on some lotion, and listening to music. Other days that’s working on my blog, reading, or just laying down without interruptions for 20 minutes. These things can really help be able to get back on track so I can continue to kick ass as a mom.
I have so much more to say about this topic, so we will definitely be coming back to this. But for now, I need to hang out with my kids so that I can get some self-care in after bedtime. Today, that’s going to be starting a new book!
To all the parents out there, take care of yourself.